do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
