You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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