On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
