No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
