I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize