How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
