I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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