sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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