I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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