roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
