i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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