Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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