I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize