Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
