Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize