I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
