it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
