Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
