Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
