Whod you bang
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
