It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
