It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
