I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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