I hope mine doesn't look like that
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I have post one night stand depression
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