Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
