Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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