i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
