The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
