if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
