Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
