Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
