this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
