I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize