Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
