didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize