Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
