is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
did you just send me my own nude
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
