I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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