kristin has been a bad kristin
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
