physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
