Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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