ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
