what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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