I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
