I skipped work to stalk him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
