it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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