This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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