WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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