So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
