I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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