im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
