Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
