I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
did you just send me my own nude
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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