feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
