We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
