Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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