When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
