I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
