ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize