This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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