You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
