Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
