that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
