So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
