I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
