The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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