Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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