belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
